Week 3

02 Feb 2023

Hello Wombats –

Week 3 is in the books. We did not have Mr. Selfie on site so pictures are few and questionable in their guidance. Two of them were taken from a Chinese weather balloon. I’ll let you decide which ones. Pretty sure high resolution German optics will have you guessing. We did manage to intercept one of their high altitude images documenting conditions.

Hard Ice with some dust on top. Needless to say ruts struggled to form. Though about two-thirds the way down Red the tracks were almost non-existant due to the ice’s resilience to silly little skiers trying to cut into it with their razor sharp skis… I pity those skiing anything other than race skis. EXCEPT Banana. Nice job Mr. Yellow.

Ice axes recommended

We had yet another week of points at, hold on, I don’t want to type too fast for you slower thinkers (rhymes with stinkers), at at at yes, 19 points. Damn we’re predictable. However, I’ve learned we’re way low in our graft. If you look at the results with anything more than a casual eye you’ll see that More Cow Bell won all their races. Da fooq you say? Yes, they got 24 racer points. JACK! I Don’t see no Stinking Cowbell banner near the shake shack! Damn it man, I will have to get out my Dobie-matic on you.

Comin at ya

I can’t insert the Dobie-matic threat in often enough, damn thing is WAY cool.

So, How was the snow? A question on the tips of every Wombats tongue. Except ZGS, f* knows his story there. Sorry ZGS, you keep blowing us off and I have to start picking on you (Jeremy, heads up!). See above for general condition. Not often that ice is such that track lines are almost non-existant in some sections of the red course.

Another heads up – this week is punctuation week – I am all in!?!.

Back to the main thread how did we do?

River Dance!

We clearly won the gas campfire award! Look at Joe Neal’s shitty little campfire –

Not Keepin warm

Even TC was moaning about how that thing barely kept his Ba..s (rhymes with tall) warm, but enough of TC.

We won 6 races and got two sandbagger points (well done Sweetie). Plus KY suckered a TAS coach to ski right in front of her as she launched from the start gate. Jack has allegedly straightened that out. Now we need to launch a congressional hearing on the 12 wins for those who manage the More Cow Bell slush fund. However, I just might be getting off topic again – another fine rumour.

Right, back to those results. Two wins each for Banana, The Quick, and me (donneyB). Plus two sandbagger points captured by sweetie.

Now this leads to MVW – That’s a clear winner, and I am beginning to view this recipient as hogging the MVW awards, with KY showing up off her death bed to 1) run down a poor, misunderstood TAS coach and 2) ski in a pretty shitty match up (revisit the more cow bell conspiracy). Thanks for showing up Sick-O.

LVW – goes to the Bourbon Brothers for hitting Mt. Si tavern on the way back down and not giving me a call. A CALL dogs, homey don’t text and drive.

Bourbon brothers keeping Mt. Si Tavern flush

So, we don’t really have a space-cadet award yet… Yes, I deserve it. I searched my ski bag furiously for my goggles. Not finding them in there I grabbed my sunglasses and started my unsteady walk to the snow. Lot was icier than the cooling cubes in Oake’s glass. I’m thinking maybe I can borrow a pair; I mean how many teams really do hate Wombats, right?

Then I saw Joe Neal. “Hey, Joe. Do you have a pair of goggles I can borrow?” Not knowing where mine were, you see. Joe, much to his credit, asks me first, “Who are you, Kirk?” I shit you not Kirk. I said Paul, not Kirk. Kirk is far furrier. Like a chia pet gone wild. BTW, They STILL have a web site https://www.chia.com/pages/about-chia-pets

Anyhow, once we got reacquainted, he pulled out a pair from his bag and said, “I don’t think these lenses are any better than the goggles on your helmet…”. Did I mention I was running late and got a little stressed? Joe, to his credit, did enjoy retelling that story après. Thanks Joe, I know where you like to park. JOE! BTW – your sister thinks I am cute. I could crush you at Family holindaze if you’re not careful.

Week 4 is next up, Fast to Slow. Be there or be an LVW.

XXOO

DonneyBrooke.